Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize