whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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