i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
