The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
