Hey man sorry I got all grabby
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
