Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
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If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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