I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
