Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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