When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
