He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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