Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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