Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
