She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
