Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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