he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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