At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
