NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
