There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
