I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
