At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
