i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.