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• (410): View more from Maryland

  the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...

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• (273): View more from

  Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure

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