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i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
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