Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.

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(914): View more from New York

you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

(585): View more from New York

Find him and marry him.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring

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(912): View more from Georgia

Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.

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(303): View more from Colorado

In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!

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(937): View more from Ohio

are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.

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