my phone needs a breathalizer
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
