i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
