Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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