You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
