The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Green mimosas i think yes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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