wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
