Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
