oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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