i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The uberlube is also flammable
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
