I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize