I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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