and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
