Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
