btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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