last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I had to cum in my sink.
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