She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
