I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
