thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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