he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
