she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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