Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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