And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
