doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
