I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
