dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
