Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
