I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
