So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize