there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
