I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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