my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
