i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
cat food counts as protein by the way
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
