so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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