My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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