Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
