I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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