Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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