the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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